"the last dream of my soul"

This excerpt gives you an idea of what context I am analyzing:

'"If you will hear me through a very little more, all you can do for me is done. I wish you to know that you have been the last dream of my soul...If I were dead, that could not be surer than its it henceforth. In the hour of my death, I shall hold sacred the one good remembrance-and shall thank and bless you for it- that my last avowal of myself was made to you, and that my name, and faults, and miseries, were gently carried in your heart. May it otherwise be light and happy!'" (157, 158).

I wanted to really focus this discussion in the chapter the Fellow of No Delicacy. In these pages, we see Carton going straight to the point, just as we had predicted, and going over to talk to Lucie Manette about his feelings. He has, until then, never shown her his true love for her, but merely sat in the corner and continued to be the drunken fool that he always was, and was always thought of to be. After this chapter, we see that Carton has lost all faith in himself to become the interesting, extroverted self that he has on the inside. He does not believe that he can ever live up to Lucie's expectations, and when he tells her that she is the "last dream of my soul", it really confirms that he has lost all hope in his present life, and his present feelings. This makes it seem like he has merely gone over to Lucie's house to depress himself, Lucie and the reader. My question is, do you think that Carton has the capabilities to change? Why do believe that he has no self confidence? Is it too late for him to be "recalled to life" and become a normal human, and not some quirky drunk?

Another point I want to address is the death symbols that pertain to my motif. In this chapter, we see that Carton has fully accepted his death, and seems to have nothing else to life for after telling Lucie how he feels. Why do you think that Carton truly does not care to live or die?